Missing the Momentism

One day while visiting my daughter, whom had just begun starting a new life with her boyfriend in the home they share together, had decided to plant her first vegetable garden. She was filled with joy preparing the ground that would be dedicated to being her "new garden", planting the variety of seeds in rows alongside each other. Carrots, radishes, lettuce, peas and squash.

As the days and weeks passed, I received updates on the changes of her garden. The initial seedlings making their way to the surface, to the uncurling of leaves and the growth of vines, then to the day of the first sightings of vegetables revealing themselves. It was a pleasure to be a part of hearing the “awe” in her voice and listening to the pleasure she was receiving in feeling so accomplished in creating and none the less nurturing her 1st vegetable garden.

On this particular day of visiting her, She & I walked out to her garden and took the time to look upon each individual row and all the flourishing plants within it, talking about the vegetables that she had already enjoyed picking and eating from her garden. She was expressing her self-satisfaction which was well deserved since she had never been able to keep even a small houseplant alive.

I suggested we go over to see how the potatoes were doing that had been planted away from the garden on a small, nearby hillside. She was not as enthused about the potatoes given that she did not believe they were doing so well do to the locations they were planted in. Not much attention had been given to the surrounding area, considering that she lives on an acreage and the hillside was covered in nature’s own wild growing plants and weeds. We actually had to search amongst the existing foliage just to find the potato plant that at this point had already begun to wither, wilt and die away. It did not look promising. Still thought why not at least get a shovel and check to see if any of the plants actually did produce some potatoes.

I plunged the shovel into the dried, hard soil, knowing the potatoes did not stand much chance to push soil aside in order to grow and expand. This soil was not a fine mound of well blended compost, instead it was clumps of solid dirt infused with various sized rocks from pebbles to larger baseball sized stones. As I lifted the plant from beneath the ground, suddenly there was a glimpse of potatoes that were attached to the roots of the plant that had begun dying above the surface of the ground. My daughter jumped for joy and squealed a joyous victory. She had successfully grown baby potatoes.

As I collected the potatoes from the plant and dug out the ones that still remained entombed deeper in the earth, I placed them in her hands. She smiled and continued to express the happiness she was feeling. She grasped the potatoes in her hands and turned away and began walking into the house. I asked, "Where are you going?" She responded, “Inside, I have to show my boyfriend our potatoes, he is cooking dinner and we have to add these potatoes to tonight’s dinner menu.” I followed shortly behind her to arrive inside the house to overhear the conversation she was having with her boyfriend. She was telling him to come outside with her while she dug up more potatoes so he could see them. He declined stating that he was in middle of preparing this large meal that needed all his attention to get it done in a timely manner. I stood there silently thinking to myself, how sad. You are missing this moment with her, a moment that you will never get to experience again. Although she may plant many gardens, dig up many more potatoes, she will never have the “Christmas morning child-like excitement” that she is having at THIS very moment. You are missing it and you would only have to pause everything for a brief for minutes and this should be worth that time to forever have shared in this moment, this memory that she will have right now.

As we sat down at dinner enjoying the extravagant meal they had prepared, including the fresh from the ground baby potatoes, I couldn’t help but to think about the moment he missed. I was still sad for both of them. For her for wanting to share her moment with him and for him for not understand or seeing the obvious due to a time restriction that he had put on himself.

Days later after returning home, I was talking on the phone to my daughter and in our conversation I brought up the sadness I had felt for him missing this moment she had tried to share with him. This was her response, “At that moment when I tried to get him to come outside and he did not, those potatoes went from being “OUR” potatoes to “MY” potatoes. We both laughed.

Her quick-witted response made me realize that although there are moments in our lives when we want to share it with others and do not have others there to enjoy or appreciate that moment, it does not belittle the moment or take away that moment and make it any less. Furthermore, I was able to realize that he may have missed that specific moment, however, he has his own moments with her that he has made a point to take part in.

It is ok to know we may not enjoy ever person’s moments, it’s ok too if the moments matter to no one than just ourselves. So enjoy the moments of others as well as your own every chance you get and be content in the chance to have them whether you created them or they are those of others.

“Some moments are nice, some are nicer, some are even worth writing about.” Charles Bukowski