Break & Breatheism

When you feel overwhelmed, standing alone in a field of weeds… Take a break & just breathe!!

There can be times when life gets to be TOO MUCH!!

TOO MUCH TO:
Think about, Focus on, Analyze, Decide upon, Figure out, Understand or even Explain!!

That is ok when life gives you that moment in time.

If we had all the answers of life in the beginning of our life, we would have an uneventful, unfulfilling life that we live, as we would have no lessons to learn, choices to make, things to figure out and that makes a part of life that makes it worth getting to the good stuff.

Learning takes ups and downs, it is a process that IS a part of life. So take the downs, the unanswered questions of life and accept them and even more accept that we do not have all the answers when we are faced with them. How long it will take to get the answers that we need? No one knows, as we are each individuals who face life’s obstacles in different ways. My obstacles might NOT be TOO MUCH for someone else when they are TOO MUCH for your own self. We are all different, we all handle things differently.

If you find yourself disappearing in the weeds and can not see a way out, just take a break and breathe. You may not find your way through the weeds in that moment but giving yourself the chance to breathe may just give you a different view which allows you to realize that you are the flower that is still growing amongst the weeds that surrounds you. That break may allow you to see the sun is shining down on you to give you the strength to deal with your “Too Much” moments. That break allows you to do just that... take a break and breathe.

"When you are too busy looking, you may become too busy to see." - Nelika Jo

“Fear less, hope more. Whine less, breathe more. Talk less, say more. Hate less, love more. And all good things will come.”
- Author Unknown

Candleism

Candles have magic.

We already know one kind of candle magic that most of us have used already without even giving it much thought. Birthdays!!

We use the candle magic when we celebrate our birthday or someone else’s birthday. The candles adorn the top of the birthday cake, representing each year of our life, and a wish is made prior to the candles being blown out. Have you ever wondered where this came from? Most probably not,you just accept this tradition, make a wish and blow out the candles in hope that your secret wish comes true. You believe in the magic of the candle without ever questioning why.

Here is a little history on birthday cake candles:
The tradition of placing candles on birthday cake is attributed to early Greeks, who used to place lit candles on cakes to make them glow like the moon. Back then the cakes were always round which represented the moon.
Other believe the custom generated in Germany where people would place a large candle in the center of the cake to symbolize the ‘light of life’.

I never recall ever asking why? Why do we make a wish on our birthday? Why do we blow out candles? I just did it and believed. Probably just as you do.

Let me teach you of another kind of candle magic. One that you don’t have to wait until that special day of the year to use. This kind you can use anytime you like or need to.

First thing, imagine a candle flickering before you. The flame dancing just above the candle, the puddle of wax that is melting just beneath the flame, maybe you can even see a hint of smoke rising from the flame, now become aware of how soothing and calming the candle makes you feel. You have suddenly relaxed watching the candle burn.


Now do you ever recall arguing over candlelight? It does not happen. The candle magic does not allow it. When you feel like you are up against a brick wall, full of anxiety anticipating yet another senseless argument, get a candle or even a few out. Light them and place them between you and the other person or other people.

Ta-da, the candle not only has a magic way of relaxing you, it relaxes everyone else. The brick wall is now replaced with a clear surrounding.

If you find you and your family are sitting down at dinner discussing the days events, tensions begin to elevate and arguments erupt bring the dinner to a sudden halt, try lighting candles at the table before the dinner begins. You may be amazed at the transformation that takes place and what once was an aggravating dinner has now turned into an event that you look forward to having together. You do not even have to tell the others at the table about the candle magic, just like no one explains to you why you make a wish when you blow out the candles on a birthday cake. Unless you are dealing with people who are too rushed to even notice the candles and in that case you can just make a comment that will direct their attention for a moment to the candlelight. We all know there are some people out there that need that little bit of guidance.


Candles have a way of making you believe in their magic without explanation.

One very important note to keep in mind, if you are in the middle of an argument, do not run for a candle. That would be like starting a race at the finish line, no time to warm up, prepare or appreciate the race you just ran. You need to allow the candle time to burn the magic into the air.

“There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle” - Robert Alden

Excusism

Have you ever faced a decision you did not want to make? Perhaps you were just undecided giving it a maybe, maybe not. You may have thought to yourself, “this is to hard” or “I just cannot make up my mind”.

I am sure you have, we have all had decisions to make throughout our life.

Some people have even had to wait for someone else to make a decision that personally affected their own life.

How many excuses did you make to keep you from making that decision?

What if
Maybe
And
But
If only
Or
It’s just
Because
What about
Then again

These are all some of the ways you start making these excuses.

There is no need to frustrate yourself or others in your life by making excuses. Take a moment, think it through without all the excuses, then decide. Yes or No.

Worrying about a decision is like rocking in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it does not get you anywhere!!

So do not waste time with worrying or excuses. Just make the choice and rock away the worries.

"If you really want to do something, you will find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse." - Jim Rohn

Remember this:

"Decisions are simple.
It is either 'YES' or 'NO',
Everything else is just an excuse."
- Nelika Jo

Fixerism

A ‘FIXER’ definition: A person who makes arrangements for other people.
There are a lot of people in this world who posses this ability.

Understanding there is a big difference between a person who focuses on problem solving and a person who is a ‘FIXER‘. A problem solver does just that, looks for solutions to solve a specific problem, whereas a ‘FIXER’ goes a step beyond problem solving. A ‘FIXER’ feels the need to educate others about how the problem arose, how the solutions can fix the problem and how to prevent the problems form reoccurring in the future. A ‘FIXER’ is not satisfied with just finding the solution. Many times a ‘FIXER’ can simply find many solutions to a specific problem, they are not content with just finding a possible solution. They need to find the solution that fixes the problem. They also need to explain how the solutions fixes the problem. A ‘FIXER’ will not stop the search for solutions, many times they will continue to search, if they must, until the problem has been resolved.

The ‘FIXER’ needs to understand there is a limit. That limit is knowing that you can not always fix everyone’s problem. Stop thinking so much, it is alright not to know all the answers.

Every person is an individual who needs to find their own way, make their own mistakes and live their own experience. Even find their own solutions.

"You cannot show someone how to see the light when they are not willing to open their own eyes." Nelika Jo

The Unbornism

Overwhelming excitement to complete devastation in a fraction of a moment is the only way to describe the emotion someone feels when they loose a baby. For each person who has experienced this, although the circumstances could vary, the pain they feel has similarities. The once hopeful, joyous moment is now replaced with the complete sadness along with empty arms. As time passes by, you find ways to come to terms with this sudden loss, however, it is a moment that you never forget as it continues to reside in a place within your mind and deeper inside of your heart, no matter how many days or years pass by.

I would like to share a touching poem with you from a mother who experienced this very kind of loss. Writing this poem is what helped her come to terms with her loss.

At our first ultrasound, you looked perfect

There was only one thing missing

Your sweet little heart beat

When I seen this was true

My heart broke in two

The loss of my baby

The one I never got to meet

Words can’t explain the pain I felt that day

The baby I was anxiously waiting for

Had sadly gone away

I cried many tears, I cried many day

But nothing will bring you back

It’s time I accept that

I will move forward, but not move on

You will be in my heart forever

To me, you will never be gone

For now you are my angel

You rest peacefully in heaven now, with many watching over you

I will find peace, knowing you are watching over me too

By those here on earth

And the ones in heaven you already know

Daddy and I miss you so terribly already

But we will hold you in our arms one day, when the time is ready

Love, Mommy

Author - Casey Reid

As alone as you may feel suffering through this time, just know that what you feel has been felt by many others. This does not alleviate your pain, it only lets you know there are others who can relate and will understand. For some this tragedy remains a secret, for some this is only shared with those close to them during that time, you just never realize how many have lived through this kind of loss.

"We asked God for a baby, instead he gave us an Angel" - Author Unknown

Discovering Yourselfism

There may be times in one's life in which we might ask ourselves, "Who am I?"

We tend to get lost in life. We can loose ourselves based on many different scenarios. Climbing a corporate ladder, relationships, raising our children, loosing a loved one, being alone. Regardless of the circumstances that leads us to ask this very question, "Who am I?" Quite simply it is that we are "lost". We have come to be aware of an empty feeling, a 'VOID' in our life.

You could have come to this conclusion slowly over a period of time or it could have arisen just waking up one day while you pondered your life. Now you find yourself in the moment asking, "Who am I?" You could spend some time analyzing HOW you got to this point. Should you do this? I would suggest you only spend a bit of time evaluating your life to obtain a better understanding of what led you to this 'VOID'.

Knowing the answer to 'HOW' may not remove the 'VOID', however it could help you to understand what happened in your life that you neglected, or allowed to happen so that you may now be aware of what it was that had your reach the 'VOID' point to prevent it from reoccurring. The 'VOID' is here so now what? You can spend endless days and nights struggling to fill this void. Do not waste away your precious time searching for 'FILLS' that will only sugar coat the situation temporarily. ‘FILLS’ are quick fixes that just do not last long enough to make a difference. Instead of using ’FILLS’, start searching and discovering yourself so that you can remove the 'VOID'. You might be sitting there now saying, "I know myself pretty well already!" If that is the case, then you have your answer and there is NO void. You should know that knowing one's self is an on-going process. We are human beings with ever changing lives, with changing circumstances. So, really self-discovery does not have a finality to it.

Now why spend time discovering yourself if we change over time? This is why. We all have our own basic make-up. Our own likes, dislikes that we are well aware of. I, personally, dislike spinach. This does not waver for me. I KNOW THIS! Now, do not mistake this for meaning a person who does not like spinach may one day discover, even though they previously disliked spinach, a new taste which makes them thoroughly like and enjoy spinach. I, myself, do not see ever finding that taste or day that I will like spinach. I am ok with that. We each have our own basic make-up, which only you know that about yourself better than anyone else.

What I recommend is taking time to expand your basics. Get to know what makes YOU happy. What do you yourself enjoy doing? What makes you smile? What makes you happy? What gets you excited about life? What have you done lately that has allowed you to focus on that smile, that happy place, that excitement? Most likely you have spent many hours, days or maybe even weeks or months dwelling on the 'VOID' which does not fix or fill it.

One of life's important lessons to learn is NO ONE but YOU can create your own happiness. You are the only one who can remove the 'VOID'. NO ONE is responsible for making you happy except yourself.

Spend some time learning and discovering yourself. When you do this, then take action! The 'VOID' begins to disappear as you suddenly make the changes that you need to in order to remove it. As I said, filling a void is different than removing the void. When you dedicate more time to discovering yourself, living the life you have, you can create the life you want. When you discover the things that make you happy, enjoy them and allow yourself to be happy. Miraculous changes will occur that previously you never imagined were possible. Your life becomes more fulfilled. When this happens, you will see changes for the better. These changes occurred by you discovering yourself. The 'Void' you may presently have in your life does not need to follow you into the future, remove it. You will find this an easier task to take on once you spend some time focusing on your own self-discovery. Do not beat yourself up if you are feeling lost. It happens.

Just know if you are lost, it gives you the chance to be found. Self-discovery is a journey only you can make for yourself.

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. Aristotle